Have I Just Been Accepted into the P Club?

I went to my first prenatal appointment with my OB yesterday. The nurse took my blood pressure, tapped my vein, and then asked me a few questions. When she finished asking me questions she gave me a folder full of information about breast feeding, birth classes, lactation consultants, preadmissions paper work, information about what will happen in the last six weeks of pregnancy and cord blood banking. Umm, thank you for all the info about the middle and end of my pregnancy. Oh, they also included two pregnancy magazines. The second package she handed me was for registering at Target??? I thought it was a little odd. The third package was full of coupons. I guess this is my welcome package from the pregnancy club. It felt strange. I don’t belong to that club, and I think I still kind of hate those bitches. It sort of feels like I’m one of those losers in school that isn’t a part of the popular crowd until I walk into school with the right pair of jeans on and then I’m suddenly they want me to be a part of their click. I still don’t think of myself as one of them because I don’t think I’ll ever really be like them. Of course I’ll be pregnant like the rest of them, but we won’t look at things the same way. Ok, I won’t get into that whole ugly thing because I’ll just end up sounding bitchy. I’m too tired to say things with tact right now.

Once I received my welcome package the nurse brought Howie and I into Dr. P’s office. She asked us some questions and then started to tell us what the end of the pregnancy would be like, where they deliver, all of this stuff that didn’t matter because we’re moving. So I interrupted her to remind her that we were moving. She had barely remembered seeing me two days earlier and only remembered when she looked at my chart. Howie asked if we could have an ultrasound and she said, “Oh, no, she was only bleeding because of the pap smear.” So I mentioned, as I had before the pap smear, that the bleeding had started Tuesday morning BEFORE my appointment. She repeated that it was just my cervix and that they couldn’t do an ultrasound because they don’t actually have an ultrasound machine in their office. She moved on from that like it was no big deal. Howie and I considered accepting that things were fine until we spoke to his father who was so pissed off that the doctor didn’t seem to care. He asked when we’d have an ultrasound and we told him that it probably wouldn’t be until after we moved because the doctor wasn’t going to send me for an ultrasound during my 12^th week visit. I think that’s when it sunk in for me, we really won’t have a clue if the baby is ok until some time in my second trimester. That really upset me, what if I just let it wait that long and I thought things were just fine just to go in and find out that the baby died. Howie called the doctor again this morning because I didn’t have any privacy in my office at all and Dr. P agreed to order an ultrasound for me next week. The ultrasound is now scheduled for next Thursday.

The bleeding stopped Tuesday night, I am still experiencing nausea, exhaustion, food cravings, and food aversions, so I’m hoping that is good news. I wanted to thank all of you for your comments and support after the loss of Small Fry and after my bleeding began on Tuesday. I really appreciate it. I’m still trying to catch up on my blog reading, Howie and I have been busy house hunting on the weekends and with doctor appointments during the week. I’ve been sleeping a lot too. This weekend we are headed to CT for house hunting and visiting with family. Luckily we will have access to high speed internet so I will have a chance to catch up on my reading.