Trying to Pull It All Together

Hi Blogosphere! It's been forever, I should just quit this blogging thing. I'm so inconsistent. I doubt anyone reads anymore but I forgot how nice it was to have an outlet for my thoughts and feelings so I'll try to keep it up.

So, my last post was forever ago. The end of May. Frost defrosted PERFECTLY! And settled in PERFECTLY. Hormones were rising PERFECTLY! Then right after I went in for my last blood test I started bleeding. Not a little, A LOT! I mean, labor like cramping and blood clots literally sliding out of me. It was awful, but when I got my results back from the doctor that day my hormone level had more than doubled. Two hours after the bleeding started it stopped... COMPLETELY! It was odd. It made no sense. That night I felt fine. I went in for another blood test and the level continued to rise. We had an ultrasound and the baby was there and it appeared to have a heartbeat. So, we went on with life as normal again until a week later when the exact same thing happened again. I dropped Aislinn off with my neighbor and went in for an ultrasound. The baby was no longer there. I cried all the way home. It was awful.

It took like a month and a half for my hormone level to go down to 0. I was trying everything to distract myself from what was happening. Shopping, painting, cleaning, re-organizing the house, researching miscarriages and PCOS. Then I got my first period after the miscarriage and it went on for 3 months. How annoying is that? It's hard to stay happy and positive when your body is going through all of this shit. I'm mad, I'm sad, sometimes I'm ready to move on. I have 4 pregnant friends. I am happy for them but it's just hard to watch them all get bigger. We were all going to be pregnant together. Aislinn is the same age as their first kids and our second ones would grow up together too. It's not like I have to have kids when they do, but... whatever. I don't know what my point was.

Howie and I went to see the new fertility doc here in town. I can't keep seeing a doc in VA, that's just silly. So, I'm seeing her friend who just happens to work in the town I live in in CT. Weird. He's nice. I'll have to think of a nickname for him someday. He was shocked to find out that I have had my period for 3 months because usually with PCOS menstrual periods are unlikely evens, as many of you probably know. So, he immediately had them set up a room so that he could give me an ultrasound and he also had them draw some blood to see if I had anemia and some kind of thyroid issue plus a few other things. Who knows. Things inside of me looked good. Woohoo! Later that day I got my blood test results, I'm not anemic but they wanted me to take iron anyway because it's fun to take and it's a damn miracle that I'm not anemic. My thyroid though... well... that is all out of whack. I have a hypothyroid. PCOS + hypothyroidism = fat, tired & infertile. Well, at least we know what's what now. He had me take some progesterone every night for 10 days and I'm taking another thing for the thyroid issue. I am no longer bleeding to death and my energy level is better. My acupuncturist also gave me some Chinese herbs to stop the bleeding and I think that had a lot to do with it too. Tomorrow I'm going in for some acupuncture and I'm also meeting with my nutritionist to discuss what to avoid and what to add to my diet now that we've added hypothyroidism into the mix. I have another appointment with my new doc on Tuesday afternoon. We're going to discuss how the meds are working and do a saline sonogram just to take another peak inside. Yay!

So that's the quick update. I now must return to cleaning this house. It's a crazy mess and Aislinn should be waking up from her nap any moment. Here's a cute pic of Aislinn pumpkin picking this past weekend.