Happy Holidays

Just days before Christmas two of my friends had babies. I think that the fact that the babies are here somehow makes it easier on me. I thought that I'd have a massive breakdown but it turns out watching my friends BE pregnant was more tramatic for me than them actually having a newborn. I don't know. I could be wrong. I haven't actually seen the babies in person yet so who knows. Breakdown or no breakdown, I am happy for them. We were all pregnant at the same time and then I miscarried so I think that in addition to being sad about loosing the baby I was also sad that I was no longer sharing the experience with them.

Anyway, I'm dealing with the fact that I'm not pregnant and that there aren't any frozen embryos for another cycle. That's it for us unless we win the lottery. After having a pitty party for myself I got over it and decided that I have to find a way to get pregnant without IVF treatments. I have already read a lot about PCOS but I got online and read somemore. I also bought The PCOS Diet Cookbook because I'm getting bored in the kitchen and need some new ideas. I'm about to get a jogging stroller so that I can get my ass in gear. Aside from the obvious need to kick my ass to lose weight I've found two different options for PCOS in the form of supplements. The first is the Insulite Labs PCOS system which was developed to reverse the effects of PCOS. The other is FertilAid. There's a formula for both men and for women. I found it when trying to find a way to improve the morphology of sperm for Howie. I researched this all over the internet and found a lot of positive feedback about it for both men and women. I don't have my hopes up. Believe me, if it worked I'd be shocked, but there's no harm in trying. I'm not taking both suplements at the same time because I don't want to overdose on my vitamins so I'm just taking the FertilAid for women right now and Howie is taking the FertilAid for men. I'll be impressed if my period comes and goes regularly. I'm charting my basal body temperature for fun too. So far, I've got my period, but that's no surprise since I just got a BFN on the pregnancy test a couple of weeks ago. What does impress me is how light my period is. It's usually so heavy that it's a wonder that I'm able to stand up and function. So far I've been bleeding for 4 days so the trick now is getting it to stop. Once I start to bleed I don't stop. I will be sooooo excited if it stops. How nice would that be? I'm just taking baby steps. I'm trying to keep myself from daydreaming about peeing on a stick and seeing two lines. Although, I can say that if this does work and I do get pregnant I am going to freak the fuck out. I would just explode! But please, lets focus on how exciting it'll be if my period STOPS, and then starts again in the next few weeks? and then stops again! I'll have a small party with balloons and... umm... I don't know, some kind of PCOS friendly dessert! So keep your fingers crossed for me and my hopes for a normal 28 to 30 day cycle!