Saturday, December 23, 2006

You have gestational diabetes... JUST KIDDING!!!

Yes, that's right! No joke! The endocrinologist had my blood drawn at my last appointment to have some tests done and it appears that my blood glucose levels have been so good for the past four weeks because I DON'T HAVE GESTATIONAL DIABETES AFTER ALL!!! It's gone! Seriously! So instead of losing 3 lbs. I could have been gaining weight, but it was so much more fun to avoid carbs and fast for 2 hours at a time. Wooohooooo! Perhaps it would have been best for me to do the 3 hour glucose test BEFORE they sent me to the endocrinologist. Oh well, I have been feasting on carbs all day and if feels great. I no longer feel deprived. I'm full and healthy and it's so wonderful to eat again!!! Tomorrow morning I'm going to have french toast and sausage for breakfast with a huge glass of juice and a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream. SWEET!!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!

Friday, December 22, 2006

My Very Tiny Baby

On Monday I went to the endocrinologist to discuss my gestational diabetes. She looked at my diet records that show what I'm eating and my blood sugar levels. She said that my levels look so good that I can stop fasting for two hours between meals! Woohooooo! More food! I can also test just two times a day if I feel like it. Even better! Because I had lost weight on the low carb diet that she put me on she asked if I had been hungry. I wasn't too hungry at first, but you can all see from my last post that in the past couple of weeks I had been. I was sneaking in an extra meal at the end of the day before bed because I was just so freaking hungry! So, I told her yes, that fasting for two hours was too much so I was really happy that I didn't have to anymore. She said that she didn't want the diet to make me lose weight so if I'm hungry to just eat. Thank you!!!

On Wednesday I had an appointment with my OB/GYN, Dr. Talks-to-Much. She was pleased that my blood sugar levels were so good. We discussed my birth plan and she felt that pretty much all of it was fine. She even told me that if my water hadn't broken or hadn't been broken for too long and the waters were clear then I could stay at home until my contractions were 3 minutes apart since Howie and I live so close to the hospital. YAY!!! I was quite excited about that but the idea of waiting until they're 3 minutes apart makes Howie a bit nervous. We'll see how it goes. Before the appointment was over Dr. Talks-to-Much decided that we should move my ultrasound up so that we could see if Aislinn was growing too large because of my gestational diabetes. Luckily they had an opening for 1 pm on Thursday (yesterday). I took it and called Howie to let him know about the change so that he could talk to his boss.

Howie got the day off. We were quite excited about seeing the baby again and figured that since Aislinn measured just a little bit small last time that she probably wouldn't have grown too big from the gestational diabetes. The ultrasound tech did all the measurements and said that Aislinn was measuring small, quite small. I figured, ok, that's fine. That's so much better than a huge baby and I was glad that the gestational diabetes didn't hurt her. I told her that Howie was 6 lbs. 10 oz. and I was 7 lbs. 3 oz. at birth. Then she told us that Aislinn's legs and arms were measuring at about 30 weeks and her head and body were measuring at about 34 weeks. Huh? Tiny limbs? What the hell does that mean? She asked how tall Howie and I were a few times and she said that sometimes the baby gets different pieces of each parents so that it may not be a problem. Images of tiny chicken wing arms were whirling around my head and I'm just thinking of how I had huge Hobbit feet when I was little so I wonder if she'll have huge feet attached to her tiny legs. What else can I pass along? My buck teeth? My freckles? Maybe she'll have two different colored eyes like my father! Sure, I think that my father's two different colored eyes are super cool but he is very sensitive about people noticing them. Anyway, then the ultrasound tech told us that she weighs about 4 lbs. 9 oz. right now. She checked the computer and that puts Aislinn in the 15th percentile. She seemed a bit concerned but wasn't saying much because she can't, she's not the doctor. We left the office a bit concerned but I wasn't freaking out too much. I started to wonder if other things were slowly developing too, like her brain? It was lunch time and I decided, maybe a carb fest would help her grow. Maybe a trip to McDonalds? Maybe this low carb diet that made me lose weight wasn't helping her? On the way home we called our parents to tell them about the ultrasound. Howie's cell phone was pretty loud and I could hear his mother say that maybe the baby is small because I'm starving myself and now I can stop doing that. My mouth dropped open. What the fuck?! By the damn way, on Sunday we were at his parent's house for Chanukkah and except for a few veggies and a block of cheese there wasn't a thing there that wasn't LOADED with carbs. I had some veggies, water, and one potato pancake during the 5 hours we were there. Once people left they took out the brisket and let me eat. They did say sorry that their friends stayed so long and they had intended on feeding me earlier. So, who is she to say that I STARVE myself? I HAD NOTHING TO EAT!!! Anyway, it really hit me. I had been losing weight, yeah, I may eat 2 steaks at dinner, I may have been sneaking in an extra meal at the end of the day, but I couldn't gain weight. I lost 3 lbs. This could be because of my weight. It could be because I'm still not up to my pre-pregnancy weight. What if it's not just her legs and arms? What if her brain isn't developed enough? What is she has a learning disability because I lost weight even though I wasn't even trying to. I was eating as much as I could, but I was eating the way the doctor told me to eat. I thought I was doing the right thing for her, I thought that because I was eating healthfully that she would be a healthy baby. She hasn't been born yet but I'm already a horrible mother! By the time Howie had hung up with his mother I was in tears. He told me that I didn't do anything wrong, that she didn't know what she was talking about and just forget what she said. How can I forget that? It's my worst fear, any mother's worst fear, did I do something to harm my child? If she isn't right it's MY fault. We tried for two years to have a baby and I might have totally fucked her up? All I had to do was keep the baby alive inside of me, make her healthy, and I couldn't. I couldn't get pregnant and I couldn't grow a baby properly. Howie ended up talking to his mother and father about the comment and then it turned into an entire drama. Basically she said she never would imply that it was my fault. I didn't know that it had to be implied, she said it right out, but ok. His parents are upset because we should know that they would never think that we've done something to harm our child, that they love us and all of this stuff. Whatever, I know they love us, I know they love Aislinn, I just wanted an apology. I wanted her to say sorry for making an incredibly insensitive comment and that she will think before she speaks next time. I'm not trying to be a bitch, but what if someone said something like that to her? She'd be extremely hurt. Anyway, it's not about that anymore. Her pity party continues but I'm more concerned with Aislinn's health at the moment. A little after Howie and I got home after the ultrasound we got a call from the doctor's office. They scheduled an ultrasound for me at the hospital on the 27th because they are concerned about the baby being so small. I also have another appointment next week with one of the doctors to discuss the ultrasounds. So, I guess I'm pretty much seeing the doctors on a weekly basis starting now rather than in two weeks. I was bad and looked up info on babies that are small for gestational age (SGA babies). In some cases they end up totally normal, others have some retardation and some die. I'm trying to keep it together right now. I spoke to my mother and she pointed out that my dad has small arms and legs too, and he is totally normal. He doesn't even look oddly shaped to me. Maybe for a girl, but I'll take oddly shaped over retarded or dead. Then she asked me if I wear petite pants and I realize, duh, yes I do and even then the petite pants are sometimes still too long for me. So, I have freaky short legs and didn't even take notice. I don't know if my arms are short, I guess my mom only noticed that my dad's arms are short because she has to buy him shirts. Women's shirts don't have an arm length, but I guess that in general they are a bit long on me. So, perhaps Aislinn was just unfortunate enough to get tiny limbs from my gene pool. If that's the worst thing she gets we're in pretty good shape. As for her low weight, like we told the ultrasound tech, Howie was a pretty tiny baby, especially for a boy, and he's perfect. Well, I think he's perfect. So, right now I'm thinking that she's going to be fine, that it's just our genetics and thanks to that she'll be easy to push out. Right? She's going to be perfect, beautiful and smart. No matter what she's like I love her and nothing else matters.

Thursday, December 14, 2006


OMFG!!!! In 6 minutes I can finally test my blood sugar level. This whole fasting for 2 fucking hours when pregnant is bullshit. I'm chugging water to try to fill up my belly but SERIOUSLY!!! ALL THAT DOES IS CREATE A VERY SLOSHY ANGRY SEA IN MY BELLY AS MY DAUGHTER BEATS MY BELLY LIKE IT'S A DRUM AND RAMS HER HEAD INTO MY CERVIX! I feel sea sick! I'm so hungry that I'm dizzy and disoriented and I'm posting so that I can do something other than watch the clock while waiting to do my stupid ass blood test. At the moment my husband is enjoying somebody's birthday cake at work. All I can say is FUCK PEOPLE WHO CAN EAT CAKE!!! Sorry to all of you who eat cake, but I'm having a bad moment, I'm not myself right now. Ugh! All I want to do is eat ALL THE TIME now, and I can't. I have to eat a little and wait freaking 2 hours and then eat and then wait 2 hours. This waiting 2 hours thing is bullshit. I want to eat when I want to eat. I hope that she isn't born a minute past 6 weeks and 6 days because I look forward to the moment that I can start eating whenever I want again. Not only WHENEVER I want but I can eat WHATEVER I want. Yes, CAAAAAAAAARRRRRRBBBBBSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Seriously! But right now it's not even a carb problem because I'm dreaming about eating a large glazed ham, beef brisket, rotisserie chicken, and a very large turkey... ok... with A LOT OF STUFFING. I guess I do want carbs. After I eat all of those animals I'd like to have an entire package of Oreos or Soft Batch chocolate chip cookies and a gallon of milk. Instead I'm going to go have some boring salad and a burger with a low carb bun.

Thanks for helping me pass the time! Later!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Seven Weeks to Go!

Not much has changed since last week. We received the nightstand and bookshelf. Howie put the bookshelf together the day we got it and then we rearranged the nursery. We also bought a curtain rod for the window, more clothes, mattress, mattress pad, boppy, monitor, and a diaper champ for the living room. All we need now is the glider and curtains.

On Sunday we put the playard together. There's a place for me to hook up my iPod. We have it fully stocked with diapers, diaper rash cream, wipes, and onesies. We finally bought me some pajamas, nursing bras, a robe, and a pair of slippers to wear at the hospital. I'll be packing that up in my bag tonight.

The low carb diet that the endocrinologist put me on is working. My blood sugar looks good, but I really do miss carbs. I've asked my mother to bring banana bread, beef noodle casserole, and some chocolate chip cookies after the baby is born. The first thing I'd like to do once she's born is overdose on carbs. I think I'm going to make some noodle kugel before I go into labor and freeze it. Howie and I are thinking of asking his mother for some matzo ball soup and the sweet meatballs she makes. SOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!! Right now I weigh 3 lbs. less than I did when I became pregnant. I was up to my pre-pregnancy weight but after starting this low carb diet I've lost weight again. Again, the doctors seem to think this is ok so I'm ok with it. I'm eating like crazy, it's just that I can't gain weight. I should shut up before people start throwing eggs at me. I'm not complaining. It's just ironic that I've always been so good at gaining weight and now that I'm pregnant I can't seem to do that. I know that I'm listing off high carb foods that I plan on eating once she's born, but I really am going to continue to eat healthfully once she arrives. Maybe I'll ask my mom to skip the chocolate chip cookies.

I've been having some Braxton Hicks contractions. Some hurt but most of the time it's just a cement hard belly and a tiny bit of pressure. My body is in training for labor. Woohoo!!!... I think. I don't mind having them and at this stage I guess it's normal. Seven weeks to go!

Thursday, December 07, 2006


I'm nesting. Seriously nesting. Aislinn's room is coming along. It's looking good. We're still waiting for the glider, book shelf, and nightstand. We need to buy the mattress for the crib and a floor lamp. Right now I just have the crib sheet laying in the crib. I just wanted to see what it looked like, but it would be nice to have it on a mattress. I already have the diaper caddy on the dresser/changing table filled with diapers, Balmex, and onesies. For downstairs we need a diaper champ and a swing. I don't know if I'm going to get the swing but my sister swears that it's the best thing in the world to have. We've also put together the travel system and will soon be bringing the car seat to the police station to make sure that it was properly installed, if not then we'll learn how to do it the right way. Pretty soon we'll be putting the Pack n Play/Playard together. I figured that if we put it up now we can teach the cat that it's not his to sleep in rather than trying to teach him AFTER the baby comes along. I will also, because I'm a crazy nesting freak, stock the Pack n Play changing station with diapers, wipes, and Balmex. We have onesies, receiving blankets, burp clothes, rattles, pacifiers, and books stored in the baskets that fit inside our coffee table. I know, I seem insane but when we come home from the hospital it'll be nice that it's all done and over with. We'll just have to maintain it, which may not be easy but we'll try.

Here are some pics!

Howie putting the crib together.

Feeling pretty good about his work.

That's what it looks like when all the pieces are put together.

The dresser/changing table! Yes, I realized that having the diaper champ on the right didn't make any sense and it is now on the left. That picture frame will probably be moved to the nightstand after it arrives.

A close up of the crib and sheets. The little pillow goes with the glider, but the glider has yet to arrive.

Howie putting the wheels on the travel system.

Last Saturday I vacuumed the curtains, floor, furniture, behind the furniture, walls. Then I mopped our wood floors. Howie cleaned wood furniture and moved a bunch of other junk. He also went through some mail that we hadn't paid any attention to yet. Howie and I both did laundry that night too. On Monday morning I woke up early to meet with the exterminator. I was so tired, I really wasn't ready to get up yet. Our bedroom was kind of messy so while I was getting dressed I also cleaned the room, made the bed and opened the curtains. I would love for my desire for things to be perfectly clean even if I'm barely able to keep my eyes opened would continue after Aislinn is born, but I doubt it will. Believe me, I love a clean house and I love to organize, but normally when I'm insanely tired I don't clean. I just happen to be nesting at the moment so I can clean with my eyes closed. Last night I folded sheets until 1:00 am. I never realized how many bed linens we actually have until I pulled them all out of our linen closet. They were all folded very badly too. I couldn't live with that so all of them had to be re-folded. My back was killing me when I finished, but that's ok because now everything is folded nicely.
Tonight we clean the kitchen again. The exterminator left us with some powerful cockroach buttons and told us to make a bunch of homemade fruit fly traps. We now have to keep all dishes out of the sink, wipe down counters like crazy and put away the cat's bowls at night. Poor Kirby cat can't even have water at night. He's drinking out of the toilet instead. Anyway, I broke down and bought Special K cereal last night. I came home with it and put it in the fridge. The exterminator wants us to take away any food that the cockroaches can get to out of our home for at least a month, hopefully by then they will be gone. I guess I could put cereal into those air tight containers but we don't have any at the moment. I'm mostly doing this for myself rather than to keep food away from the cockroaches because my husband still has like 3 boxes of cereal so if they want to eat they can. This morning I was really looking forward to having some Special K. Lately I've been eating a doughnut and milk for breakfast, which I probably shouldn't have but it's within my 50 carbs. The doughnuts are also in the fridge. Anyway, I know that I need to measure my Special K so that I don't go over my carbs. When I open the drawer where we store our measuring cups I find a cockroach sitting on top of them looking up at me. Then I notice a couple others in the drawer. They all run off and I slam the drawer. This drawer is right next to our silverware drawer, so I decided that the silverware has probably been touched by the gross roaches. The whole plan of having cereal went to hell from there. I decided I would go ahead and have a doughnut and milk again because I don't need any silverware to eat a doughnut. I'm so disgusted. I told Howie about my encounter and he said that we would get air tight containers for everything and we could also clean the entire kitchen. Howie thinks that the roaches are getting desperate for food which is why they were in a drawer where there isn't food looking for it. I don't know, I just think they're gross and think that they own the entire kitchen and they want to touch all of our things. I want them out of here because if they don't go I don't know how we're going to ever clean the baby's bottles because I don't know if roaches are going to be crawling all over them and the bottle brushes that we use to clean the bottles. The fruit flies are gross and they're all over everything too. The traps that Howie has made are working, but we need more of them to slow down their life cycle. The flies are all over the damn house. I've never lived in such a gross environment. WE'RE CLEEEEEEEAN!!!! Our neighbors are insanely clean, so it's not them. They had to come in our boxes, and if they did I don't know that I EVER want to put my things in storage EVER again. I can't believe how gross this is. I want them all gone in the next 8 weeks or less.
Ok, enough about the nasty infestation. Yesterday was the first day of my 32nd week of pregnancy! I can't believe the weeks are going by so quickly now. Before I go I will attach the new picture of my belly.