Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Introducing Aislinn Madison!!!

Howie was going to update my blog but he has been very busy taking care of both of his girls. So here I am and here's the update.

As you know, my water broke around 7:20 pm or so on Sunday night. We called the doctor and the doula, both said that I should sleep and wait for the contractions to start. The waters were clear so I didn't have to go in right away, but the doctor said that if the water wasn't clear anymore or if I saw a LOT of blood then to go in to the hospital. I decided I'd take a shower before I tried sleeping because when my water broke it reeeeeeeally broke!!! I was covered in fluid and I have been told before that it may be a while before I can shower again so it's best to shower before leaving home. I took a shower and noticed that there was some blood. I didn't know if it was a lot or if it was normal but I knew I'd be more relaxed if we just went to the hospital. So we called the doula, grabbed all of our stuff and left for the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital at around 9:00 pm and I felt my first contraction somewhere around 10:00 pm. We walked around with the doula until around 11:00 pm and then the nurse hooked me up to the machine to monitor the baby and my contractions for a half hour. This is when Howie's parents and brother showed up to say hello before heading over to our house for the night. After the nurse took me off the monitor the doula, Howie and I all decided to rest as much as we could before my contractions got stronger and closer together. I slept on and off. I was having some really nasty acid reflux which was bothering me more than the contractions and kept me from getting more rest. Around midnight we all got up and started to walk the halls again. My contractions were about 10 minutes apart and were hurting a little bit more. After walking for a while I thought it would be nice to try using the birthing ball. While I rolled around on the ball the doula gave me a back massage. The contractions were getting much more intense but between them I was still in a pretty good mood.

When my contractions were about 7 to 5 minutes apart the nurse came back in to hook me up to the monitor. She also checked my cervix and told me that I was about 60% effaced and 1 cm dilated. I was pretty irritated that I was still just 1 cm dilated. Aislinn and I were both doing fine so after 30 minutes she took me off of it again. The contractions were getting pretty bad at that point so I decided to sit on a chair in the shower. I couldn't use the bath because my water had already broken. I was shaking uncontrollably so they covered me with blankets and we made the water as warm as we could. The shower helped with the contractions for about 15 minutes, after that the contractions were so bad that I decided I no longer wished to have a natural birth. I was in so much pain and I had hardly progressed. I thought about how unhappy I was while the contractions were 5 minutes apart, I couldn't imagine how I was going to deal with them when I didn't get a 5 minute break in between them. I was also exhausted and just wanted to sleep so that I'd have the energy to push when it was time. I did take into consideration that Aislinn could react badly to the epidural and that I could end up having a c-section in the end, but that could happen even if I didn't have the epidural so I told my doula that I was ready to call the anesthesiologist. While she was reminding me of why I wanted a natural birth and asking me one more time if I was sure that I wanted drugs I had another contraction. This is where it turns into one of those movies with the crazy woman in labor. I suddenly went crazy and told her that I wanted the fucking epidural because I was sick of the fucking contractions and I told Howie that he better tell the fucking nurse that I want the anesthesiologist right fucking now! At this point it was about 5:15 am. The nurse came in to get me hooked up to the machines and to put a port in. She told me that they had to get at least one bag of fluids into me before they were allowed to call the anesthesiologist. She was doing her best to find a vein but it's like I have no veins! Nobody can find one! She tried on both sides I think twice. Then she told me that she'd try to find this other person that could try to get my port in but if she couldn't find a vein we'd have to wait until 7:00 am when some sort of amazing vein wizard would be in. The thought of waiting until 7:00 am to have my port put in and then waiting to get through a bag of fluids before they call the anesthesiologist made me crazy. I begged her to find a vein, any vein, anywhere, just please put the fucking thing in and hook me up to some fucking fluids so that I could get the epidural. The next lady got it in and we were good to go. The anesthesiologist didn't show up until 7:00 am though because this girl across the hall had to have a c-section because she pushed for like 30 minutes and nothing seemed to work. We could hear her whole team of friends, family, nurses, and doctor yelling and coaching. I laid in the bed in intense pain completely shaking and it seemed that Aislinn's back was against my back which was giving me the worse back pain I have ever felt in my entire life.

When the anesthesiologist was there and prepping me for my epidural the shaking was pretty bad and he asked me if I could please get that under control. While he played with my spine I was doing my best to keep my uncontrollable shaking under control, manage the contraction, ignore the intense back pain, and breathe. I did it though, because it meant that soon there would be NO PAIN. It also meant that I wouldn't end up paralyzed. Within minutes I was numb and didn't even realize it. I had my next contraction and they asked me if I felt it. I had no idea I even had one! It was great! The doctor came in to check up on me. I was only 4 to 5 cm dilated so she decided that she was going to give me some pitocin to help things move along. After she left and the nurse was giving me the pitocin Howie and I made some calls to our family to update them on my lack of progress. At 8:00 am we all fell asleep and woke up around 10:00 am when I started to feel a little bit of pressure. The nurse checked me and I was about 7 or 8 cm dilated. I continued to try sleeping some more but around 10:30 am or so the pressure started to get really bad. Although I wasn't really feeling pain the pressure was pretty intense and I had to breathe through each contraction. I was feeling the urge to push but my doula told me not to push yet because if I pushed too early the tiny bit that was left of my cervix could swell up and prolong things. So she helped me with my breathing so that I could avoid pushing. Around 10:45 am the nurse came back to check on me and I told her that I really wanted to push but I was doing my best not to. She decided it was time to check my cervix again and sure enough I was ready to go! She told me I could start pushing with my next contraction. I was so excited because I was so sick of fighting the urge to push and was sure that pushing would actually feel better. Things suddenly started to happen, the doctor showed up and everyone started to help me push. The pain and pressure was amazing! Unbelievable! It scared the shit out of me, but I put my chin to my chest and pushed into my bottom like they said to. I told them when it was over that I didn't want to do that again, that I wasn't ready for her to come out of me or that I didn't want her to come out anymore. They were all pretty much like "it's too late for that, it's about to happen". The nurse told me that if I kept pushing like I just did that Aislinn would be out soon. Another contraction came along quickly and the doctor hadn't even put on her gloves yet. I pushed hard, just like they told me to push. I could feel her moving down through my pelvis and I could feel that she was really close to crowning or was crowning. I screamed at the end of that push because it hurt so much. The pain didn't really scare me or make me want to stop though, I wanted to push, I had to push. They all told me not to scream, only to push. I asked them if it had been a good push though, before I screamed and they all said that I was doing great. The doctor made a little joke that I was moving so fast that she wasn't sure she'd be able to get her gloves on. That's when I actually apologized for allowing things to move along so quickly. They all laughed and told me not to say sorry for that and the doctor said that it was actually very considerate of me to push so well or something. I clearly watch too many of those baby shows and was expecting to push out the baby's head and then maybe be told not to push because maybe the cord would be around her neck or something and then be told to push another couple of times. Who knows, but I wasn't sure that she was even close enough yet, maybe I'd have to push some more to get the baby to move down and out. I pushed again as hard as I could right through to my bottom and I definitely felt her crowning. The doctor told me to push again and I said, "Really? I don't feel like I have to push right now. Are you sure I should push now?" and she told me that she wanted me to push right then, so I gave her another really hard push and I felt all of this stretching, pressure and then relief. It did kind of hurt though and it was such a surprise that I shouted "What the fuck was that?!" and they told me that she was out and placed her on top of me. I instantly felt guilty that one of the first words my daughter heard out of my mouth was the "F Word". I actually said to everyone that I can't believe that's the first thing she heard me say and the nurse told me that it was ok, that it was the first word her baby heard her say too. I looked down at my baby girl laying on top of me and everything was just so surreal. I couldn't believe I was looking at MY baby. I put one hand on her head and the other on her body and said hello to her and told her that I was her mommy. The whole world suddenly seemed so different and it was so hard for me to completely wrap my head around the fact that she was actually my baby.

They took her to a little table off to the side of my bed to assess her. Howie and the doula disappeared to take a closer look at her while my doctor and the nurse were collecting the cord blood for the cord blood registry, delivering my placenta and stitching me up. Everyone kept telling me what a good job I did, that I pushed so well. I laughed and joked around with the doctor and nurse while trying to get a glimpse of my daughter past the crowd of people surrounding her. Howie and the doula took turns coming over to me to tell me that she looked great, that she wasn't a dwarf, she was healthy, and to show me pictures. After a few moments they brought her over to me. Her eyes were wide open and she was very aware. Howie and I spoke to her and she looked at us both like she knew that she had heard our voices before. After I was stitched up and all was done the doula said goodbye and the room emptied out so that Howie and I could spend some time alone with Aislinn. We were both instantly in love with her and just took it all in. Every moment with her since then has been perfect. I don't think either of us have ever been this happy in our lives. We have a family! Our own little family!

So, here she is, all cleaned up and perfect! Introducing Aislinn Madison born on January, 29th 2007 at 11:03 am weighing in at 6 lbs. 10.6 oz and measuring 19 1/4 inches in length.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Holy Shit!!! This is it!!!

Yes, no fucking joke! My water just came gushing out. We were sitting on the couch and I felt a pop and then a trickle and then I jumped up screaming "OH MY GOD!!! MY WATER BROKE!" as I ran across the living room with water gushing out of me. Howie jumped up and told me that it was ok. Everything suddenly became real and I realized, I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY FOR REAL. I'M GOING TO GO INTO LABOR, PUSH A BABY OUT AND COME HOME WITH A BABY! It's seriously real right now. Seriously real! It's a little bit scary and exciting. Scary though, because I'm going to push a baby out of me, maybe, who knows. But she's coming. Ok, that's it. I need to go sleep. That's what my doula said, sleep!

Howie will update once our little baby has arrived! OUR BABY!!! OH MY GOD!!!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Coming Soon?

Well, I guess no matter what Aislinn is coming soon, but my blood pressure was a tad high when I went in for my non-stress test today. 140/90. They didn't find any protein in my urine so right now there's no reason for me to be admitted to the hospital. Because of my family history they decided to have me do a 24 hour urine test starting tomorrow. I have a lovely jug that I will begin peeing in tomorrow morning. On Monday morning I will go in for some blood tests and drop off my jug o' pee before I have my last (I hope) biophysical ultrasound. The doctor will hopefully have the test results by the end of the day on Monday or early on Tuesday. If I have preeclampsia I will of course then be admitted to the hospital and have labor induced.

Other than that, Aislinn looks good! She was very responsive during the NST, as usual. The doctor was very happy with that. Now it's just a matter of time. One way or another we'll see her soon.

Thanks to everyone who commented on my last blog. It helps to get opinions from others who are not directly involved. I think that it would be best to let Aislinn come whenever she wants and only induce if the doctor feels it's necessary, which may happen early next week anyway.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

No Baby Yet

Nope, no baby. Two days ago I lost a big glob of goo which I assume was my mucus plug and that the blood that I had a week or so back was not exactly a mucus plug but still called bloody show, I don't know. I thought it was all the same thing but whatever. As long as they are signs that she's aware that she needs to vacate at some point soon that's just fine. Braxton Hicks? They are really starting to fucking hurt now. They will be coming along consistently for an hour or two and then just flat out stop. A couple of days ago I fell asleep on the couch, and when I say sleep I mean coma sleep where almost nothing can wake you up, and I began having some really hardcore contractions that would wake me up but I was still too tired to look at the clock and time them. I'd fall right back to sleep. Finally I did wake up after one of them hurt like a wicked bitch and that's when I freaked out that maybe the contractions had become closer together and more intense and I was pissed at myself for being so tired I that I didn't wake up to pay any attention to what was going on when they began. So, I called Howie to tell him that I think the contractions were possibly maybe realish because they REALLY hurt even when I changed positions and started to walk around. I started to time them, they were about 10 minutes apart for almost an hour and then they stopped. It was a good fire drill but certainly wasn't the real thing.

Howie and I are doing what we can to move things along. We've had sex, which resulted in Aislinn getting into a really uncomfortable position where she was putting pressure on a nerve that sent this awful shooting pain right down through to my urethra. So, Plan B is to just do that thing that you do when you're alone... or with your man, however you like to do that. Just no sex! Usually that just causes one massive contraction and nothing else, but I'll keep trying. At least it's fun. A couple of times I've had some strong coffee, I guess it's possible that the caffeine could cause labor, but so far I think it has only changed her sleeping pattern. If I weren't so damn tired almost 85% of the day then I'd probably walk from here to FL trying to induce labor, but everything I read says that being really tired is normal and to just sleep as much as possible right now because if I were to go into labor I'd need my energy. That's no joke because after some of the hardcore contractions I've had I've felt super tired. It wears you out! I've been rolling around on my birthing ball hoping that it will help me dilate. My next plan is garlic! People say that spicy food sometimes works, another old wives tale, and I know that garlic isn't the spiciest food in the world but it gets her moving when I do eat it and with the amount of acid reflux that I have been experiencing I don't think I could handle any Mexican food. My doula suggested that we make plans for her due date because babies tend to come when you have something you need to do and if she doesn't come at least we are doing something fun with our night rather than sitting at home obsessing about how she's due and still not here. The 31st is not only her due date but PAY DAY!!! So, Howie and I will head over to The Melting Pot and have some VERY GARLICKY cheese fondue, and then of course the rest of the super fabulous Melting Pot meal. Mmmmmmm! I also have a coupon for free chocolate fondue, which I am REALLY looking forward to. If the garlic doesn't get labor started (which it probably won't) I will spend all of the next morning before heading of to the doctor running up and down the stairs, maybe take a brisk walk around the complex. I don't know that any of this is going to work. It probably won't, she's going to come when she wants to come.

Here's the issue, and it shouldn't be an issue but it is. My brother is coming to visit from February 1st to the 5th. On the 5th he flies back to VA and then the military is sending him away for 2 1/2 years on the 7th. He's not going to be in a seriously dangerous location or doing anything seriously dangerous, so it's not that I'm so much worried about him never coming home just that he won't be back for 2 1/2 years. I love my brother, I do, because he's my brother and once upon a time we were really close. Now, well, he thinks we're close because I give him less shit than our sister does. See, my brother is the Prodigal Son. He wasn't always a self centered jerk, well, it wasn't always this bad and I guess that he is this bad because my mother has made him the Prodigal Son. I don't want to lay it all on her because I love her and I know that she loves all of us, I think that she just makes a huge deal about him because he's so distant (emotionally and physically) and now he's turned into this jackass! Here's some background on the situation. Every year my mom writes this Christmas letter to everyone she knows to update them on the family. The letter is pretty much all about my brother, we'll just call him PS for Prodigal Son. In the letter she'll go on and on about all of PS's yearly achievements and the few times that my sister, S, and I are mentioned it's tied in with a PS statement. For example one year I was mentioned twice. Once because PS bought me a t-shirt while away in another country, and then again because I went to visit him in DC during the summer. By the way, I wasn't visiting DC to see PS that summer, I wanted to visit because Howie was his roomie and I hadn't seen Howie in a year! My sister was only mentioned once because she received a t-shirt but didn't visit him in DC. That year my sister became the director for this private school and it was a big deal for her, but my mother forgot about that. Everyone ALWAYS travels to DC for every single event in my brother's life, but when my sister gave birth to our niece he couldn't take time off to see her. I was in the middle of an IVF cycle and begged my doctor to let me leave for 48 hours without any monitoring so that I could see my niece, my brother wasn't doing anything, he just didn't want to use any leave. He has plenty of leave by the way. Two months after our niece, J, was born my brother was receiving his masters and his graduation was in RI. He was given about 4 or 5 days of leave, he could have made the hour and a half trip from RI to CT to see J, but instead he wanted S to bring J to RI because he didn't want to waste his time driving to and from CT. If she hadn't brought J to RI he wouldn't have seen her until he came to visit right at the end of December. She's about 9 months old and he's only seen her twice. In the past 9 months family has gone out of their way to visit him for various events he feels are important about 4 or 5 times. When he was here at the end of December and beginning of January he stayed at my house for two nights. Howie and I drove up to Northern CT to have dinner with the whole family and bring my brother back to our house. So, the first night we got home kind of late, about 10:00 pm. PS and his girlfriend, JB, were planning on heading to NYC early the next morning. JB went to bed almost right away and PS stayed up until about 1:00 or 2:00 am playing some stupid computer game. He wanted me to get up at 7:00 am to wake them up, which I did. JB got up right away to shower and get dressed. JB didn't roll out of bed until 10:00 am, then showered and got dressed. Howie and I were planning on taking them out for Mexican food, their favorite food, that night because it was the ONLY night we were all going to be able to go out alone together. When Howie and I dropped them off at the train my brother made a comment that he was thinking of doing this and that so they would probably not be back until 8:30 or 9:00 pm. Howie was a kind of irritated by this and said that he didn't want to eat that late and didn't want me to eat that late either. Honestly, I could have had two dinners, I normally do anyway, but it was just that my brother was thinking of himself rather than others that pissed Howie off. So, JB said no, that they would be back around 6:30 or 7:00 pm like they had planned. PS said "well, we'll see" and got out of the car. Around 5:00 pm my brother called to bitch about how he and JB had been fighting all day about the time they were coming back and that he's pissed off that he has to leave NYC before he's ready to because JB said that he was being inconsiderate of others. He said that this is the last time he'll be able to go to NYC for 2 1/2 years and he doesn't want to hear anyone tell him that he's being selfish again for the rest of his trip. This just pissed me off and it kind of hurt me to hear that. He was more upset about the fact that he wasn't going to see NYC for 2 1/2 years than the fact that if he didn't come home for dinner it would be the last time he can sit down for dinner with Howie and I for the next 2 1/2 years. Why does NYC rank higher than me? So I told him never mind, just stay in NYC, eating dinner together wasn't a big deal. I didn't want to eat dinner with him anymore if it pisses him off so much to eat with me. He said that he couldn't stay in NYC because JB had given him so much shit that he was just sick of being there. So it was already ruined for him. When we went out for dinner I think Howie and I were the only ones really talking. It wasn't worth it. Before he left to go back to VA he was 100% different. He was being all wishy washy about how this could be the last time he sees me before I become a mother. He came back to give me a hug twice before he left and even kissed my belly to say goodbye to the baby. WTF is that? He's been calling me every day to see how I am and trying to be all sweet to me, but honestly, I know that he's just hoping that I have the baby before he leaves. Not so that he can see her but because he has bought a ticket to visit from February 1st to the 5th, because my mom is worried that he won't see the baby before he goes. Maybe a piece of him really truly does want to see my baby. I'd like to believe that he cares because he and I were really close when we were younger and he used to be a really loving and protective big brother. I just don't know which person I'm dealing with anymore. I do know that regardless of how he feels about me I still love him and maybe that's because I still remember the old PS. So, the issue is, do I ask the doctor when I see her on Friday how long they'll let me go before they want to induce labor, and if she says January 6th do I ask if they could induce earlier so that my brother can see the baby? This is the guy that puts NYC before me. I really wanted my birth to happen with as little medical intervention as possible, and if I'm induced that may not happen. It could, maybe not, but could change the type of birth I end up having. Plus, I kind of want Aislinn to decide when her birthday is, not my brother. Even if my brother wasn't going away for 2 1/2 years, how often would he come and see her anyway? She might see him about 4 times, maybe 3, in that time if he was in the US. Plus, I can just see the stupid Christmas letter now, "Amy had labor induced so that PS could see Aislinn before he went away for 2 1/2 years"! My daughter's birth will be announced in the letter because of my brother! I HATE the thought of that. However, if the doctor is going to induce me close to the date that he'd be flying out and I'd give birth to her a day later then it is kind of silly that we held off one day just because my brother is a self centered jerk. I just hate the thought of inducing labor for my brother because the whole world revolves around him. I mean, my sister held off on dedicating her daughter to the church for nearly 9 months because that was when my brother would be in town, because he wouldn't have come in just for that. I almost want to wait one more day so that the induction is done because my doctor says it's time and not so that it's good timing for my brother. It's not like he'll never see her, he'll see her when she's 2 1/2 years old, or 3, whenever he gets around to seeing her after he returns. Even if he sees her when she's a day old, she's not going to remember him any better when she finally does see him again. I don't know what to do. I have no idea what I want. Any thoughts?

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Week 38!!

38 weeks and 1 day today! 13 days to go... hopefully no more. Who knows. Clearly the Neonatologist felt that it would be unnecessary to induce me on Tuesday. We're going to just let Aislinn come out whenever she decides it's time... which I hope isn't too much longer. I'd like to have at least one more childless weekend with my husband, so if she'd like to make her way out sometime on Sunday afternoon that would be fine.

I had a lot of funky discharge on Tuesday. It seemed more watery than it did mucusy but I didn't feel any actual leaking so I didn't think my water had broken because I was sure that it would have been obvious. It also kind of smelled nasty. Gross!!! So around 1:00 AM Howie made me call my doctor because he felt that it was possible that my water had broken, although Dr. Google said that if it was my water it wouldn't smell bad. The doctor pretty much said the same thing, it shouldn't smell bad, but she'd have me come in to the office in the morning. So, I went in and all three tests that they do to find out if your water has broken were negative. She thinks that I might have a yeast infection because of the funky odor. Last time I had a yeast infection the discharge wasn't so watery, but what the hell do I know. She took a swab to send to the lab. She also did a pelvic exam to find out if I had started to dilate yet (fun!!) and it appears that I have dilated 1 cm. Woohooo! I wish it were more like 4 cm and that I was in labor. I kind of felt let down that it was a whole lot of nothing and that I had to go home and continue to wait for something to happen.

So sometime around 12:30 AM I started cramping. These cramps seemed to come along every 8 minutes. I think I had timed about 4 or 5 of them before falling asleep. When I woke up this morning around 5:15 or so, maybe it was earlier, the cramping/contractions (???) were 3 minutes apart. It seemed odd to me that they were so consistent yet no more painful than they were when I fell asleep last night. Howie wanted me to call my doctor and was rather upset with me when I said that I wouldn't call. I mean, I woke my doctor up early Wednesday morning because I might have a yeast infection. I'd feel silly going in to the office or hospital to be hooked up to a machine that would show how pathetic my "contractions" really are and then be sent home again without a baby. I've had stronger menstrual cramps when my body is only trying to expel uterine lining, I would imagine that if my "contractions" were 3 minutes apart that it would be much more painful than they were. I didn't even have trouble chatting casually during them, my husband wouldn't have even known that I was having them if I hadn't told him. Howie and I got up and took a shower. The stupid plug in the tub doesn't work so I can't take a bath like my doula suggested trying if I'm not sure if I am having false or real labor. I was hoping that taking a warm shower would relax my body and stop the contractions if they weren't real the same way that taking a bath would. I had maybe 3 contractions while in the shower and had Howie time them for me. When I got out I only had 1 more contraction and that was it. So, it seems that it was false labor. The contractions are beginning again right now though, and are slightly more intense. If I go into labor I'll be sure to let you know, but I doubt that this baby is coming out any time soon. I feel kind of silly because I'm waiting for my body to do something and I'm not exactly sure what it's going to be like. Doctors never want you to self diagnose anything, but when it comes to labor you kind of have to. At this point I'm over analyzing EVERYTHING and I don't want to be like the boy who cried wolf. It's silly, and I'm hoping that when it's real I'll be sure that it's real. Whatever, I think that eventually this baby will come out by force rather than by choice, but we'll see.

Anyway, last night Howie and I finished up the baby's room. I put all the larger sized clothes into space saving bags and then into a big plastic tub. We have a rather large space saving bag for 3-6 month clothing, and smaller bags for the 6-9, 9-12, and 12-18 month clothing. As for clothes that she can wear immediately, we went from having almost nothing to having lots of clothes. Very nice! The closet and nearly the entire dresser are filled! I spent about 30 hours this week sketching and painting two pictures for Aislinn's room. They're ok, I'm not Monet or anything. The pictures are a little over simplified and sort of lame, but I made them for my baby. I don't know how I feel about how they look in there, but Howie seems to really love them. One is of sheep jumping a fence which we hung by the glider and night stand. The other is of the Hey Diddle Diddle nursery rhyme. There is a square for each character from the nursery rhyme and the words to the nursery rhyme are there too. We hung that one above the bookshelf. We hung up the cute letters that Howie bought to spell out Aislinn's name above the crib and the Celtic cross that my aunt gave us is hanging above the changing table/dresser. I know, kind of confusing, a Jewish baby with and Irish name and Celtic cross. Well, she is an Irish Jew so whatever. The Celtic cross is more of a symbol of her heritage and that's just fine for us. It goes along with her very Irish name. Anyway... moving on. We picked up the cushions for the glider that we had re-upholstered so that they went along with the room better. I love them! So, I will go ahead and post those pictures for you now that the room is complete.

Sunday, January 14, 2007


Not huge news really, but I woke up this morning around 6:40 am to pee. I felt more pressure in my neather regions than I usually do. I already determined about a week or so ago that the baby had dropped because I can breathe better, eat full meals, and I look like I'm carrying lower. Since then there has been a tad more pelvic discomfort, but not really pressure like I was feeling this morning. I checked the toilet paper when I wiped and saw some blood. It was a bit dark with just the little night light in the bathroom, but I yelled "WHAT??" and turned on the light. Not much blood in the toilet and nothing that looked mucusy exactly but I still figured it might have something to do with the mucus plug or my cervix thinning out. I walked out of the bathroom and said "Howie! I'm having some bleeding, not bad bleeding, I think good bleeding." Whatever that means. He was trying to wake up and understand what was happening and I said, "I think it might have to do with the mucus plug or something, I don't know." He jumped up and shouted "WHAT???" like it was time to go to the hospital. I reminded him that the doula and everyone else said that you could lose your mucus plug either right before you go into labor or two weeks before you go into labor, it doesn't definately mean anything. Then I noticed some cramping and I said, "but I feel a lot of pressure and some cramping." Lately I've been wearing just shorts to bed, no underware, but I decided this time that I should wear some underware and a pad just in case. With the cramps and all that pressure I was feeling I asked Howie, "Well, what should I do? Shower? Sleep? People say to do both, which do I do?" He told me to lay back down and try to get some rest. I looked around our messy bedroom and thought about how Howie had just torn down the wallpaper in our bathroom so that he can paint before Tuesday when we thought I could possibly be induced. I asked if maybe I should do some cleaning. He told me no that he'd take care of that. So, I did lay back down in bed and Howie cuddled up with my belly and started to talk to Aislinn hoping that she'd start to move around for us, which she did. The cramping I had been having had stopped for about 10 minutes and then started again. It felt different from the Braxton Hicks contractions, so I wasn't sure if that's what real contractions felt like. I had also started to shake and shiver, but I have no clue what all of that was about. I wasn't cold at all, it was just uncontrollable. One thing I thought was odd was that Aislinn's movements kind of hurt and would make me jump. I obsessed for a few minutes about some things that we had to do around the house before we go to the hospital IF this was labor and then fell back to sleep. We woke up around 11:30 am and I felt fine. A rather boring story, huh? I told my mother about what had happened and she said the same thing happened to her a few days before I was born, so maybe I won't have to be induced. Who knows, it could be nothing and even if it is something it could still take two more weeks and by then I could already have her because the Neonatologist may want to induce me on Tuesday. We'll see.

We continued to prepare for Aislinn's arrival today. We went to Home Depot to buy a new light for the upstairs bathroom and some decorative hooks to hang the letters that spell Aislinn's name that we bought a week ago. We also decided to buy a new light for above the sink in the kitchen. We already have a couple of other lights at home that we have to hang, but Howie is pretty quick about that so I'm sure they'll all be up by Tuesday unless Aislinn arrives before then. Howie finished painting the bathroom and it looks SOOOOOOOOO much better now. We went grocery shopping after we went to Home Depot so that we could buy ingredients for lasagna and noodle kugel. I will make both tomorrow and then pack them away in the freezer so that we have easy to make dinners after we bring Aislinn home. While Howie was painting the bathroom I cleaned the fridge, freezer, dishes, and laundry. After Howie finished painting the bathroom he came downstairs and said that he cleaned the downstairs bathroom. I don't know, I haven't checked, but I trust him. I'm honestly more concerned about the dust bunnies behind the door in the bedroom that we ALWAYS forget to vacuum up. I swear, I'll get to that this week.

Our glider was delivered on Friday. We had ordered a glider from Pottery Barn Kids sometime around Thanksgiving. They kept pushing the delivery date back because they had the glider on backorder. After changing the delivery date two times they decided to cancel our order all together and said we'd have to reorder. That was about three weeks ago. Even if we reordered the glider it wouldn't arrive until two to three weeks after Aislinn is due. So, instead we started hunting for gliders in our area. For some reason it's difficult to get a glider that has a cushion in ANY color other than brown on short notice. We ended up buying a glider with a shit brown cushion at this store that is going out of business. The glider was half off and didn't have a foot stool to go with it. Although the cushion was the ugliest shade of brown I had ever seen it was really comfortable. I could easily sleep in this chair. We thought about the missing foot stool and realized that we have a tiny stool at home with a cute needle point rose design that my great aunt had made. The colors were close to the colors in the rug we have in Aislinn's room. We decided to buy the glider with the ugly cushion and just have it recovered at an upholstery shop. First thing Saturday morning we brought the cushions to an upholster place nearby. The cute old man told us that it would take a week to do it, which was fine with us. Today we went in to give the upholstery guy a down payment because his credit card machine wasn't working and he had already finished one cover and was just about finished with the second. He told us that we could pick it up tomorrow!! How completely perfect is that? It looked pretty good so far so we're quite happy.

One last thing I did today was start sketching the pictures I wanted to paint for Aislinn's room. One is sheep jumping over fences and the other was going to be a cow jumping over the moon. I realized that I have absolutely no skill when it comes to drawing cows. The sheep were just fine, but cows? No way. I'll have to come up with something else. I'm not exactly sure what I'll decide on but by the end of the day tomorrow I will have two pictures painted and hopefully hanging in Aislinn's room. At that point everything will be completely finished and ready for her to arrive. Well, we will need to do some basic cleaning around the house, but for the most part things are looking pretty good. I've even had some time here and there to nap. And believe me, I've REALLY needed to nap A LOT!

Hopefully my next blog post will be more exciting, but we shall see. In the meantime I hope to catch up on some of your blogs before I become a Mommy.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Holy Shit!!

I had my second non-stress test today. When Dr. Hot Stuff came in to check on Aislinn's heartbeat she asked if I had talked to the Neonatologist when I went in for my last ultrasound at the hospital. I told her that I had and she asked if she had mentioned anything to me about wanting to induce labor. I was rather shocked and told her no. She told me that although Aislinn looks like she's pretty healthy she's not gaining too much weight so she'd like to move my repeat growth scan at the hospital up so that she can decide if they should induce labor next week! Can you believe that? Next week I could be holding my baby girl in my arms! Holy crap! I feel ok about it if they do because she is healthy, her lungs look good, her heart looks good, she's very active. All is good as far as we can tell except she isn't gaining much weight. So, whatever happens happens. We're ready.

During my ultrasound at my OB/GYN's office on Monday I asked if they could show me what she looks like in 3D since they have the 3D ultrasound machine. She looks sooooooooooo cute! I already suspected that and I also suspected that she looked just like her daddy. I was right! She looks just like Howie! I can't wait to see her on the outside!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


Howie and I had an ultrasound at the hospital last Wednesday. Everything seemed to be fine. They listened to the blood flowing through my umbilical cord, placenta looks good, baby is active, fluid level is just as it should be. It looked like my body was doing it's job and she is getting what she needs from me. She's just a small baby. Then the ultrasound tech measured her limbs and asked us if I had a first trimester screening. I said that I did and that everything seemed to be fine. She kept looking through my file and said that she didn't have a copy of it. So, she got up and said that she was going to have the doctor come in and aparently also call my OB/GYN office to have them fax over my first trimester screening. Before the doctor came in the ultrasound tech came in and out a few times kinda acting a bit weird which started to make us nervous. Finally the ultrasound tech returned with a doctor. The doctor asked us about the IVF and why we had trouble conceiving. She asked if we had any genetic abnormalities in our families. We told her that Howie's side has Tay-Sachs and Familial Dysautonomia on his side, but he is only a carier of Familial Dysautonomia. I told her that I didn't have anything on my side. She then asked us if the OB/GYN told us why I was having an ultrasound there at the hospital. I told her that I thought it was because the baby seemed small. She looked surprised and she said it was because of Aislinn's short limbs. I know they mentioned she had short limbs but I thought that they were more worried about her overall size. The doctor and the ultrasound tech then looked at the measurements and I heard them say that her limbs were measuring at or below the 5th percentile. They didn't really say much to us, the doctor just started to measure everything again. The ultrasound tech left the room a couple of times looking for the fax of my records. A few moments later someone brought them in to her. She looked through them and said that the tests showed that we were at low risk for Down Syndrome and Trisomy 18. Howie asked if either were a concern at the moment and she quickly said "NO NO NO! We just like to double check that." We sat there quietly while they remeasured and checked her organs. They said that she has a really nice looking heart and kidneys. They also said that her top lip looks good, so does her head and bones. They finally finished and told us that because her arms and legs are so small there is a chance that Aislinn may have Achondroplasia Dwarfism. The size of her limbs are the only reason they can't rule it out, but she does not have any of the other signs of dwarfism. They asked me to return for a repeat growth scan on January 19th to see how her limbs are growing, but we may not know if she has dwarfism until she's born. Of course I will love her no matter what happens but it was hard to take at first. Not because I'd love her any less, I just never expected that. On Friday we met with my OB/GYN to go over the ultrasound results and she seemed less concerned. She told us that she wouldn't tell us not to worry or that it's not possible, but they are usually very cautious and want to prepare parents for the worst. It is very possible that Aislinn is just small and has my genes. My father, sister, brother, and I all have rather short limbs, but it's not dwarfism. It's just the way we are. Even petite size pants are too long on me and my sister and I noticed how long sleeves on us usually go all the way to our nuckles. I'm thinking she's probably just fine but I'm glad they are preparing us because if she does have dwarfism we won't be surprised by it.

My OB/GYN did say that this means I need to go in once a week for an ultrasound, once a week for a non-stress test, and once a week for my regular weekly visit. That's THREE appointments a week until I have the baby. That's ok though, it's all just to make sure that she's ok so that's fine with me. I have a bio-physical profile ultrasound in a couple of hours. It's nice to see her so often, I just wish it wasn't necessary.