Thursday, February 21, 2008

Baby Fever

Yes, baby fever. Babies seem to be popping up around me everywhere, or maybe I'm starting to notice pregnant people and itty bitty powdery smelling babies again. I don't know but the baby fever is intense. I'm dying to get knocked up again. I miss being pregnant, even being sick and having to sleep sitting up for 4 months. I loved feeling Aislinn moving around inside of me. I loved getting to know her like that before she was born. I also miss the smallness of a new born. The thing I want the most is for our family to grow and for Aislinn to be a big sister. I know she would be a wonderful big sister. She is so sweet and so gentle with others. She likes to pat the other kids at playgroup on the back or hold their hands and today she even fed one of the other kids cherios. She has a baby doll and while she sometimes drops her on her head she also likes to take her out of her cradle and feed her a bottle. She's going to be an amazing big sister. I think the baby fever is so bad that my head is starting to play games on me. Lately my boobs have been hurting, I've been nauseated on and off, car sick for sure, tired, and yesterday I started to cry in the car for no good reason. I doubt that my dysfunctional ovaries miraculously popped out an egg around the same time that one of my husband's unmotivated tadpoles actually swam up and then the two actually bumped into each other and had the energy left to unite. That alone would be amazing, but it would be unbelievable if that adorable little embryo snuggled up with the wall of my uterus and set up camp. I'd love that but it seems so unlikely. I really can't believe there are people out there that just have to have sex to have a baby. I wish it was that simple for me. Anyway, I bought a bunch of pee sticks and so far the pee sticks have told me that my uterus is a barren and cold place. No baby in sight. It's crazy because I've nearly broken down and sobbed like 3 times today and the last time I was like that I had a bun in the oven. Oh well, what can you do? Someday soon we'll take frosty out of the freezer and see if there's any frost bite.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You never know..i had negative test with my first. Isn't it very common for people with infertility problems, after a baby,to become fertile myrtle? I was told I was never going to have kids at age 22 and now I am on my 2nd. pish pash what do doctors know. If its born in your heart why not in your uterus?